Confession: I hate Chai

Okay, so I hate chai.

There, I said it! I know tea is serious business to most of you, so I apologize if this hurts your fragile feelings.

“Tea is what helps you get out of bed each morning and face the world.”

“It’s what you drink when you’re snuggled up in bed during winters with a good book.”

“It’s what magically cures your headache after a long hard day at work.”

That’s what I’ve heard my entire life but no matter how many cups of tea I’ve forced down my throat, I’ve never experienced the feeling of joy that tea-lovers keep raving about. I promise I haven’t chosen to hate tea deliberately, but I just hate it nonetheless.

I realize that growing up in a country like Pakistan where people run solely on Chai and Biryani, hating either is the one of the worst things you can do. If you’re a girl, as soon as you hit puberty you’re on tea-duty (at least thrice a day) to keep your family caffeinated and happy. Yet while the people around me chug tea down as if their lives depend on it, I’m genuinely perplexed why this watery, milky leaf gunk is such a national treasure.

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Not liking tea has left me at a serious disadvantage in life. Politely declining every cup that’s offered to you gets increasingly hard in your twenties, as you realize that whether it’s at work, at a friend’s place or at a family gathering, tea is something that people just refuse to live without.

But you know what’s even worse than the god-awful taste of tea? The unhinged army of tea-lovers who are one step away from attacking you for daring to speak out against it. They’re the ones who can’t fathom how a normal person can’t like this wonderful drink (Ew) and constantly badger me to try another cup, hoping that this one might bring me to my senses.

Usually telling someone that you hate tea just earns a look of absolute horror and one or more of the following reactions:

  1. Confusion
    “What do you mean? You don’t drink any tea? Doodh patti? Herbal tea? Not even Green tea?”
    NO!
  2. Denial
    “You probably haven’t had a good cup of tea. Have it daily, you’ll end up loving it!”
    Why would I even want to be dependent on tea?
  3. Anger
    “How can you not like tea? It’s amazing. It’s warm and tasty and perks you up. It’s tea. DRINK IT!
    I’m sorry, please put down that cup of hot tea. I’m scared.

Tea is just something that has somehow become a mandatory part of our culture and admitting that you don’t drink it, automatically makes you a social outcast. If I had a Mars bar for every time I got ridiculed/scoffed at for not liking tea, I’d be 50 pounds heavier.

But sometimes, when I’m with new people and sheepishly admit that I don’t want any chai, there’s someone who’ll gasp and says “Me too!” It’s rare but it happens, and I live for those moments. You see, there are more of us out there than you realise. But we’re too scared to admit it in case someone gets offended and throws scalding hot tea at us.

Tea lovers, you guys are scary. Calm down and step away from the caffeine. Some of us don’t like tea. Please get over it.

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24 Comments Add yours

  1. TheMonk says:

    As an Indian , I can relate to you. When you visit someone’s house then first thing they say is ” We are not letting you go without tea” or “Just a second , tea is getting ready”LOL. And this becomes hysterical during future-bride-see program 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shamilahr says:

      Glad you get it 🙂
      It’s like tea is an essential part of desi culture and nothing can be accomplished without this beverage to help 😮

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadagopan says:

    Seriously! I don’t like tea as well. I prefer Coffee. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shamilahr says:

      I’m glad there are people like me out there ☺
      Are you surrounded by tea-lovers as well?

      Like

      1. Sadagopan says:

        The city where I work now, majority of people are tea lovers. But they dont trouble much. I end troubling them to switch to coffee. But in my home state, Coffee rules! Specially, The Filter Coffee.

        Like

        1. shamilahr says:

          That’s great! I’m a cold coffee kinda girl myself! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  3. LOL it’s the same in England, everyone offers you a cup of tea or coffee. Everyone drinks it. Unfortunately for me, I drink neither. I’m tired of the unending surprised looks haha

    Like

    1. shamilahr says:

      Haha Well us Pakistanis are just as crazy about tea as the Britts.

      Personally, for me it’s:
      Coke > Water > Coffee > Tea.

      So glad to know that there are others like me and I’m not the only one 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha I don’t even drink fizzy drinks

        Water > Any fresh juice > every other drink 😂

        Like

        1. shamilahr says:

          That’s great! So healthy!
          I’m also trying to kick my fizzy drinks habit 😀

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Ellie Mack says:

    I had to laugh! I know that part of the world thinks this about tea, whether it’s chai, earl grey, or some other form but the comments you’ve described are for coffee! Coffee wakes you up in the morning. Coffee duty is taught at the age of about 8 or so. I went from bottle to coffee at about 3. Don’t laugh it’s true! Back then it was mostly milk with a dash of coffee, but coffee has me firmly in its grasp now, with a slight dash of cream. I don’t go for the decaf stuff either, full throttle for me baby! Anyway- loved your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shamilahr says:

      Thanks so much! 😀
      Hahaha OMG Are you serious? Going for coffee at the age of 3 is BADASS!
      We have the same treatment here for tea. I swear, people think it’s liquid magic or something >.<

      Like

  5. Anastasia says:

    😀 Love this post!
    I don’t get how anyone stays awake by drinking tea o.O and it also tastes kind of…plain when compared to coffee. I think especially with people who blog/read books, they’re all tea people. It’s a great mystery to me as for why. Recently I discovered licorice tea though… 😀 I kind of like it but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m Finnish and it reminds me of salted licorice (salmiakki)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shamilahr says:

      Aww, thank you ❤

      For me, coffee gives the much needed kick I need on drab & dull mornings (always Mondays.) Tea just doesn't seem to do the trick.

      I've actually tried Salmiakki and think it's pretty cool 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Linda says:

    Thanks for the chuckle. I’m not that big of a tea drinker but my hate extends to coffee. Try disliking that in a country that is Tim Horton’s obsessed … where the drive thru line ups wer/are so long that they have had to create second lanes where possible to help with the congestion as well as a quicker drive thru experience for their customers. Arrrrrggggggghhhhh!

    Like

    1. shamilahr says:

      Hahaha. I can’t even imagine staying in line so long for coffee/tea! 😐

      Like

  7. daveply says:

    Although I like tea (well maybe not all the variants), I’m in the same boat as Linda – I hate coffee. In the USA, that’s as bad as hating tea in Britan or Pakistan, worse if you’re looking for a caffeine fix and coffee is all that’s offered. So while I’m aghast 😉 that you hate tea, I can relate to your quandary.

    Like

    1. shamilahr says:

      Haha I can completely imagine the looks of horror you get when you confess that you hate coffee 😀

      Like

  8. if not tea what are your other option for caffeine coffee? or you aren’t caffeine addict at all?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shamilahr says:

      I actually need soft drinks for my caffeine fix. Coca Cola is what keeps me hooked!

      Like

  9. arv! says:

    Living in Indian sub continent and not liking tea is like a sin..unless you’re in South India where coffee rules.
    You’re from Pakistan? great…which city?

    Like

    1. shamilahr says:

      I’m from Karachi and trust me it’s close to a sin to declare that you aren’t head over heels in love with chai >.<

      Liked by 1 person

      1. arv! says:

        ha ha! you better start loving chai or you have some explaining to do..every time!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Fizza says:

    Hey! Hello to a non chai drinker, I can totally relate to you. I get up fresh in the morning and i dont drink tea, coffee is also something I drink rarely but I am always good to go. So yayy to us 😀

    Like

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